So - how do you deal with doubters to one's plan? Especially a big plan like homeschooling which becomes more of a way of life?
People I know, especially certified educators, really question what we are doing. They view Lovely as far too social to be "stripped" of companionship, and in homeschooling, and they think I'm also losing treasured time with my younger two in these adorable years of babyhood. It plants doubts in my ability to try and do this. I already have so many - like how to guard the fragile mother/daughter relationship when the lines blur with teacher/mother/daughter/student and how to create a routine and stick to it. I already worry about how to teach Lovely areas of learning I am not expert in. I worry about having time with Valiant and Lovely while tending to Gift. So, really, hearing it from others scares me more!
I know I joke I would laugh when people suggested I homeschool - but I can also say I supported them 100% or asked a lot of questions. Even as a certified high school educator, I see the value in all learning styles, locations, and methods. I want to be supportive in someone's passion for learning, no matter where they are. I love learning that much.
I know it comes from a heart of concern because they love my kids - but, I don't know....it doesn't help me settle my soul.
Anyways - just wanted to think out loud. Don't worry...I'm not backing down - and I shared my views back - but little seeds of doubt do get planted. It's hard. How do you keep your eye on the prize? How do you use their constructive criticism? I am all about honesty and other perspectives. I just need help balancing them.
Any thoughts out there?
** And, I will add - I do know family life can be enriched by homeschooling. I will have that time with my kids, etc. Families who homeschool with the support of the spouses as a team, and a community, usually seem so happy and tight. So I know it can boost a family, not tear it down....it is one of the reasons I wanted to look into this way of life.
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I can tell you that having a teenage boy now, I am SO grateful that I stumbled my way into homeschooling 4 years ago. I know, without a doubt, that I have a releationship with him that I never would have had, had he been in school for middle school. I am sending him to high school this year, and will miss him terribly. Yet I know that he is cemented in his relationship to me, his Dad and his little brothers in a way that would never exist if we had not had that precious time together. He has plenty of friends, through sports, other homeschool families, etc. And he also has social skills that he would not have from school, only being exposed to kids his same age. He can happily interact with all ages of kids, and he can carry on a conversation easily with adults. What kinds of socialization to you get when you only "socialize" with your own age group all day? (and my soapbox rears its ugly head for a moment...!) Don't listen to the naysayers - look around at all the lovely examples you have of homeschooling. And watch your daughter blossom under your tutelage, and see the kind of relationship she will develop with her sister and brother. It's a thing of beauty.
ReplyDeleteKris - Thank you. I needed to read all that (again). After a nap, reading your comment, and re-reading Chapter 1 (Susan's perspective) of The Well Trained Mind it helped to reinforce we are doing the right thing by giving this our best "go". I'm already forgetting what was said earlier that planted worry seeds.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate this, and your comment is why I'm so passionate about giving this a go.
I still can't believe he's a high schooler! SOB!! He and my niece...so HARD, yet so natural at the same time...
Bless you!
Comment from Holly (tech difficulty posting):
ReplyDeleteFrom Holly http://seekingwoman.blogspot.com/:
Let's chat soon. The reality is it's not easy at first, but you get in a groove. And you know you are in a community of great homeschoolers that will be incredible support for you and for the kids. Also? No teacher in a regular school can focus as much attention to your children's education as you can - you don't have to be an expert on every aspect - it's okay if you learn right alongside of them! As a matter of fact, it's one of the best parts of homeschooling - is the doing it together part.
You're going to do a great job. Don't overschedule, don't plan too much, and don't put all sorts of pressure on yourself - you don't want the kids to feel stressed about getting everything done - learning is fun! But not if you're stressing about checking all the boxes each day. Be flexible. And love them! You'll do more for their long-term love of learning than any teacher in a classroom could, and it is hard for educators to see that because of their own experiences. But I do know from our experiences that our educator family members have all stopped saying negative things about our homeschooling - they can see that our children are quite socialized and academically successful, in spite of all my weaknesses. The best part? We love being together and sharing these days in a way that doesn't happen in more "traditional" homes.
Like I said, let's chat soon!
Love you!
(Holly)
I needed these helpful comments, too. Thank you, Holly and Kris!
ReplyDeleteI think you (that's a collective "you", for all of you that homeschool) are doing a wonderful thing by your families, in that you are doing what is the right fit for each of you! Boo to naysayers - though I don't think that anyone in particular is trying to be negative towards you - it's certainly not positive and helpful. You're wonderful parents and you'll be wonderful as teachers too. Love to you! (and you, Holly!)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to read Kris's comment that she started in middle school or late elementary and had great success. It is hard for me to accept that homeschool didn't go as I hoped it would for the young age, but I still have high hopes for giving it another go when she's older.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I don't engage in the homeschool/public/private school debate anymore. I did at first, but I realized that it's just not worth the stress. In my opinion, the criticism people give me is anything but constructive. Most of the time (but not always) it doesn't really come from a place of love and concern for my kids. I think people are uncomfortable with my choice because it makes them defensive about their educational choice for their children. Humans are pack animals and we don't like it when someone strays from the pack. Now when the subject comes up, I just say, "You know, it works for our family right now" and I leave it at that.
ReplyDeleteIt is tricky balancing the mom/teacher thing but you'll get there. As challenging as it was, I wouldn't trade last year for anything. The time spent with my children and watching them learn is simply priceless.